living downstream //

hello you magic one!

i'm writing you from the countryside of england. i've got a beeswax candle burning next to me, from our favorite cafe in the world who closed its doors this past weekend. a feather pen. an open journal. and the most glorious aftermath of the sun setting.

the sky is half lit up with a soft yet brilliant orange. the other half a fading blue as we watch the rising of the full moon.

winter moments like these really bring things to slow down. the sun sets early. it gets dark before we get tired. and its just like our bodies learn to follow the dance of the light.

andy and i just completed a 7 month road trip a few weeks ago.

we drove across america and then across canada. from los angeles to maine, up into canada all the way to prince edward island all the way across to vancouver and made it to seattle in time for american thanksgiving.

from coast to coast and coast to coast again! 20,000 miles on our 2011 honda pilot. the best fucking car around.

it became our home. it became our ground. life was lived so present. so in the pulse of what was calling us where and why. everything got paired down to what we really needed. no excess. we got ridiculously good at packing the car. at getting the right boxes and containers to put hats in. to put our kitchen stuff in. we had tents. and air mattress. blankets. pillows. tea. so much tea. we even had an espresso machine!!!

we had what we loved, and ditched what we didn't.

and what is wild about it as i look back on it now that we are in the ground of a return to a place we left, is that none of it was 'planned'. this seems to be a theme in my life. i simply follow the guttural direction of what my insides are pulling me to do. i dance in my head about the things i desire, but its more about the desired feelings than actual 'goal setting'. sometimes the actual things don't show up as visions for me, just the feelings i desire. and this road trip was one of them.

i remember listening to joe rogan interview rick rubin while on the road trip, a legendary music producer, and rick talking about how he doesn't set goals. he never has. he's never set out to become one of the most legendary music producers of all time, and yet here he stands with the experience of working with some of the best musicians of all time as arguably the best music producer of all time. and how beautiful that is.

i've never been a goal setter, in the standard way we are 'taught' to be. and i've always wanted to be. i remember there was a time when we were in university where so many of my friends worked for lululemon. it was the place to be it seemed! it really intrigued me and i wanted to work there. the reason: they worked with their employees to set goals. they were devoted to it. and i wanted to overcome the feeling of the blank page every time i would sit and try and goal set. trying to think my way into my future. nothing really ever came. or if it did, it didn't make my insides feel anything.

'what do you see for yourself in 5 years?' in interviews. oh, fuck off, i want to say. its not that i don't dream or have desires, its just that i feel so deeply connected to this tap root of life. this flowing water. this river. of life. that keeps revealing itself in the moment. i know the feelings i desire, and i know the magnificence i want to experience, and i know the powers i hold to create my own reality.

i do believe in a friendly universe. i do believe in magic. in the sense that it is a foundational basis for my daily experience in life. i 'segment intend' as abraham hicks would say, or pray, or set intentions, before most things that i do. andy and i do it together. i allow my angels to come in and assist me and us. i know there is so much unseen support around us at any given time and it is up to us to invite it in.

it feels like my life and the life i share with andy is like we opened this little side door to a parallel reality that is filled with coincidences and magic, and following the feelings of yes and no and watching doors open that you couldn't even think to ask of.

and no i didn't sit down 10 years ago to dream this up into reality. i don't say this to knock those of you who really love setting goals and it works for you, because i do believe and know that we are all wired differently and how boring of a world to be in where we are all homogenous and the same. but i share this for those of you trudging through mud that you don't need to.

i know that it is the time of the year where this 2022 thing is wrapping up and we are opening our doors to a new energy for 2023, but i don't want you to get lost thinking you have to set all of these goals if it doesn't resonate with you. this is why there are 566,789,999 and then some ways to do things. your way is not the way of other peoples. get clear on what you want to feel. and begin to invite those feelings in now.

andy and i didn't consciously sit at the strike of midnight into 2022 saying we wanted to go on a road trip across america and canada for seven months. what we did keep tending to was how magic this year felt. we kept feeding that story. we kept trying to lean back and open in the ways that allow life to just take you.

i swear there is a current for all of us to let go into. i'm tired of people trying to fight for something that is upstream. slow your roll. sit your body down. you're doing amazing. look around. still. still. still. gently. gently. gently.

take a breath, how about we start this year like this?

UNTIL NEXT TIME!

thank you for being here! i moved my mailing list host from squarespace over to beehiiv and i am loving it. feels like an open meadow. with wildflowers.

with love,

cass